For many people a wedding is a time of weaving together a community of love and support around a couple who are publicly professing their love and intentions to make one of the most challenging commitments for two human beings: to live a life together come what may. Often when people say that a wedding is not religious they mean that they don’t what the wedding to be about Jesus or traditional notions of God or to contain any traditional churchy images or symbols. But in our view, a wedding, if done well, is a transformative ritual. The couple, having been witnessed by their community in stating their promises to one another in the presence of the sacred, leaves the wedding changed. If this ceremonial element really isn’t important to you, you always have the option of having a justice of the peace do the official legal part of the marriage and then gather with friends and loved ones more informally to celebrate. On the other hand, if you want to create a ceremony with a minister — in this case not someone you have known for many years, but someone who has experience creating meaningful rituals and officiating at weddings — then we think it is worthwhile to give the process some time and attention. Thoughtful religious leaders can help you with this. Many can give you a process to follow to write your own vows, which we highly recommend. With our help, you can create a deeply meaningful, spiritual wedding using the images, symbols, and language that speaks to you and your families and communities.